Saturday, October 16, 2010

Butter Makes Me Batty

I like butter. A lot. Margarine has not passed my lips in probably ten years and butter was one of the main reasons that I wanted cows so badly here in Lantanaland. Most of my cooking knowledge comes from either a French or Italian background and there is nothing better than a sauce made from a reduction of pig trotter stock, with a dash of white wine and finished off with a big knob of butter. Preferably with a small mountain of mashed potatoes on the side. With butter.

Now I'm hungry.

The dairy industry is still getting my coin, because despite the large amounts of cream at my disposal, I have failed miserably to make any butter. I've tried leaving the cream out, the blender, the food processor, the stem blender, a whisk, the egg beaters, shaking it in a bottle, but nothing. Do I have some sort of anti butter field that prevents cream molecules bonding in my presence?

What makes it more vexing is that I am having moderate success with the cheese making, turning out reasonable haloumi and mozzarella and learning every time from my mistakes.

But no butter. It's making me a bit batty.

- Lantanaland from my iPhone

Location:Windy, Windy Lantanaland


  1. Did it reach any of these stages?

  2. No. Even the cream didn't really thicken. And you can't get any more pure than mine, straight from the cow!

  3. Havent made it for years and i dont know why the cream wont thicken but, we use to put a couple of teaspoons of yoghurt in with the cream prior to whisking/churning and leave at room temp for a few hours to ferment and thicken.
    Tony B

  4. That's bizarre.

    May I make a suggestion?

    Announce loudly that you plan to make a delicate, whipped-cream dessert. Set your kitchen up in something like 'profiterole' mode. In fact, make a whole batch of profiteroles. Why not? It will help with verisimilitude.

    Next, invite half a dozen people to dinner. Promise them profiteroles for dessert. Pick the one you trust most, and tell them to bring some plain cream.

    Meanwhile, repair to your kitchen. Announce loudly once again that you're about to whip the cream for your profiteroles, and wouldn't it be awful if you accidentally made butter?

    Begin whipping. Yawn. Blink. You will now have butter.

  5. jeepers, even I made butter- yeah go with the yogurt method so it ferments to the point of looking like yoghurt consistency. x