Saturday, January 30, 2010

Shipping Container

Apparently, I am the only one in my group of freinds that read such literary masterpieces as The Famous Five, The Hardy Boys and Alfred Hitchcock presents .... The Three Investigators. It does strange things to a young boy, such reading.

I have always wanted, when I finally built my own house, a secret room, hidden behind a revolving door or bookcase, only accesiable up a narrow rickety hidden staircase. Regretablly The Wife didn't start reading for pleasure until her university days, so she doesn't understand my desires. So secret rooms in the house are probably out.

A shed though would be quite acceptable. And not one of those vanilla bogan ones. No three car tin cookie cutter design, what I want is a shipping container. I have a cunning plan to get it too. I'm going to accumulate so much stuff that the wife will have to surrender and let me have one just to get rid of the shit lying around.

Once I have my forty foot container I would dig out a bit of hill and I have lots of hill, and set my container down into it. Then I'd cut a few skylights in the top, cover it with a waterproof membrane then backfill with rocks, which I also have quite a few of, then cover with soil and plant out a wild garden of flesh eating hybrid triffids.

A few cunningly disguised solar panels would charge the battery banks to run the power tools, kick ass sound system and the Iron Man suit that I'd keep to go and round up any lost cows.

That takes care of the top approach. The front is more problematic. I have to have an access that I can drive my new beaut zero turn mower that my fantastic parents and grandmother bought me. Maybe a camoflauged door that I can crash through, A-Team style when I need to do some mowing.

Then maybe a blackberry maze for the walk in approach. So far my sphinx breeding program has not gone so well, they keep trying to use the quiz from the Sunday Mail for questions. So I might have to go with the traditional three headed hellhound, but that's ok, I'm down with going with the old school ways.

Inside I might need a small cold fusion reactor in case it gets a bit cloudy, a full kitchen, larder and aquaponics system under lights in case the zombies come or I get a bit peckish or I have to entertain a super spy who's got through my defences as some sort of training exercise. Probably some lasers too.

Oh and I'll need a secret room. Behind a revolving bookcase.

Lantanaland from the iPhone


  1. Got a shit show in hell of this getting up. Once the Wife reads this and finds out the only actual purpose of the thing is as a place to hide from her, the VETO stamp will come down like a 40 pound sledge.

    Lucky you've got a Titan

  2. So what you're saying is you want a cave?...perhaps a little like Dead Poets Society? I did like the Famous Five.

  3. Dreamer. You can have a bomb shelter/cave my dear, as long as it doesn't look like a bomb has hit it.

  4. Beeso - I read all that shite too, and the great disappointment of not being able to build my own house is the lack of a secret door. I will almost certainly wind up putting one over the entrance to my study... got the mower? What kind?

  5. Ended up with a zero turn as thats what the best fit was with the cash we had. I am so building a secret room/entrance in my shed. Might pull out a few old 3 investigator books as inspiration

  6. I can't convince my elder son to take an interest in 'em. Insufficiently modern, I think. Also, he's kinda past that reading age.

    The younger son, though... I reckon it might just be a plan. D'you reckon they're still in print?

  7. Hmm should i go a side hinged door or the classic middle swivelled book case. Advantage is i could hide all my awesome books on the second side.

  8. If you get fat you may appreciate the side hinged door.

  9. If this house ever gets built (up to DA stage of block-splitting) it WILL have a revolving door between the Library & my hidden computer-den. Must put up a scan of the plans. The back of the revolving door will have a rack of swords, axes etc. I read the same books, passed them to #2 daughter who is, conveniently, our architect. Can hardly wait. She refused the shipping container cellar/oubliette on engineering & flooding grounds. Sadly she was right and spent some time on the "Told you so Dad" conversation. Bloody kids.